You want that end result right? The job, the money, the car, the holiday, the house, the holiday house, the relationship, the body, the freedom, the happiness, the peace, the spiritual awakening, the business, the best-selling book, the million followers and whatever else.
Nowt wrong with any of that (oh, for my non UK readers, ‘nowt’ means ‘nothing’ ?). But, if the only thing that makes you happy is achieving the goal, you’re in for a pretty miserable ride. Allow me to apply some totally non-scientific maths to this…
? Percentage time spent in the goal achievement experience: 10%
? Percentage time spent working towards the goal: 90%
If you’re debating those numbers right now, remember it’s totally non-scientific! ? But, I think it makes the point. Whatever the goal and the exact % split, chances are you still have to put in some considerable work to get the result. And so the question is…
DID YOU ENJOY THE 90%?
If the answer is yes, you need not read further. Your life is great. You awesome sod. Go and enjoy yourself. Whoop! ✨?????
If you said no, or not really, or a bit, or sort of – then maybe you’ll want to do something about that. Well, you don’t have to. But, this means you’re spending around 90% of your life not enjoying yourself. And that suckssss! ??
? THE PROCESS IS JUST AS – IF NOT MORE, IMPORTANT
Look around you, everything in the natural world is constantly in a process. A process of growth, evolution and creation. This is the basis of all existence. This is the basis of you. ???
I can’t think of anything that grows, gets something and then just stops because it has gained the ultimate bliss of achievement. Can you? Even you are not satisfied after reaching a goal, you move quickly on to next one.
Perhaps there is a deep desire within us to experience the process, not just the end result. And, regardless of all that existential rambling, the fact is that the process takes up a lot of our time – so doesn’t it make sense to enjoy it?!
Let’s count our little wins along the way. Let’s be grateful for the challenges and the lessons they bring. Let’s enjoy learning and experiencing. Let’s enjoy the growth. Not just the 10% at the end of it. ?
Now, if you’re thinking – I STILL can’t enjoy the process, it’s so crappy! Well…
? IF THE GOAL IS MEANINGLESS, THE PROCESS WILL NEVER SATISFY ?
If this goal doesn’t spur deeper excitement and resonance with your soul, with your true self, then the 90% process will never be enjoyable. I talk from both experience and observation. This process will never satisfy and achievement of this goal will probably also be pretty mediocre.
What this basically means is that you’re chasing someone else’s goal. The parent’s goal for you to be a doctor or get married and have kids (#indian). The society’s goal for you to be stick thin or muscle bound (#superficial).
If you actually want those things, you’ll enjoy at least most of the process as well as the result. But if not, you simply won’t enjoy the process.
So, what to do?
Well, you either suck up the 90% misery or, as Gary Vaynerchuk says: ‘stop doing shit you hate’.
I’ll be first to admit that this is not as easy as it sounds. BUT, as always, the choice is there. Only you can make it.