I’m so ashamed of failing at things that I think I’m good at or things that mean something to me.
I’m not fussed about failing other things; watch me fail at rock climbing – I’m too physically weak and scared of heights, or trying to navigate directions – the part of the brain does this, does not exist in my head. That list certainly goes on. But who cares? Not me.
But stuff I like and want to succeed in? To fail that is like a smack in the face. Or 50 repeated smacks in the face. And then a kick in the nuts – if I had nuts. NOT because the thing I was doing failed its objectives but because PEOPLE WITH THINK I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I will think I’m not good enough. And that brings all manner of uncomfortable emotion inside.
So I caught myself doing something sub consciously to soften that blow for myself. I use the word TRY. Oh this can be such a sneaky word. Here’s an example:
- I’m going to try and get a much wider reach on Pinky and Her Brain
- I’m going to try and develop an App
- I’m going to try and be an entrepreneur
Do you know the energy that surrounds the word ‘try’ for me, in this context? It’s a subtle undertone of failure.
What I’m really saying is:
- I’m going to try and get a much wider reach on Pinky and Her Brain, but it might not work
- I’m going to try and develop an App, but it might not work
- I’m going to try and be an entrepreneur, but it might not work
I FELT this energy as I was saying it. I’m sub consciously protecting myself from the shame of potential failure – because I’m already warning people (and myself) that I might fail.
So why is this an issue? Because your energy is EVERYTHING. Our words and energy we carry when we speak them, are so very telling about the sub conscious drivers in our lives.
Now of just because you stop using the word ‘try’ it doesn’t mean you won’t fail, but I don’t think that super successful people go INTO their goals with a meek ‘I’m going to try’. How about this:
- I’m going to get a much wider reach on Pinky and Her Brain
- I’m going to develop an App
- I’m going to be an entrepreneur
Feel the instant increase in STRENGTH and DETERMINATION in those statements, compared to the ones previously. That is the energy we need inside as we embark on our dreams, and I hope it’s the energy you carry as you embark on yours.