That was the response I got from someone close to me when I told him that I read a lot of ‘self help’ or ‘personal development’ books, and watch spiritual teaching videos on YouTube. He said it in a surprised and condescending sort of way.
You know, it made me feel ashamed. Like, ‘oh how embarrassing my life is sh*t. Everyone else’s life is carefree and great, like the person who’s saying this to me, with his shiny happy life’.
Of course I had a lot of happy moments but my life had never been a bed of roses. It still isn’t. Sometimes, quite frankly it was a bed of sh*t.
That whole conversation was a few years back but it’s was emotionally impactful and stayed with me for a while.
What I realise now, is that no one should EVER feel ashamed about their life, or feel ashamed about being unhappy. I know it’s easier said than done. But just STOP (Hammer time. #90schild), PLEASE don’t ever be ashamed. Shame is a debilitating emotion (see You have nothing to be ashamed of ).
Sadness, fear, worry, unworthiness, hopelessness, these are all totally normal parts of life and I’m dubious of anyone who thinks they never experience these. Usually such people are just hiding, afraid to face the truth. Yes maybe some of us appear to have ‘an easier ride’ and get less of those painful emotions than other people, but that’s none of our business. Similarly our journey is our journey and no one can judge it, it’s none of their business. People with the toughest pasts usually create the brightest futures.
I think we should all be super proud of ourselves. We’re constantly bugged by media, society, and even the people close to us to be something that we are not. We’re bugged into believing that we are not good enough and that that we need to change to fit some arbitrary ‘ideal’. We are swarmed with things that strive to take us away from what we really are. Funnily enough, all that makes us unhappy because inside our soul just wants to be free. It wants to express its truth. It wants us to be loved and accepted exactly as we are.
For some of us other things like the madness of a world at war, greed killing the environment and our beautiful animals, poverty and depression of the masses also hurts. Along with our personal challenges, this can all cut very deep for people who are particularly sensitive.
If I had all of this clarity at that time, my response would have been, “NO I’M NOT F***ING HAPPY!!!! AND WHAT?!” ? ha!
For those who suffer more than others, it’s almost as if a part of us knows the beauty of what life could really be, hence it pains us so much when we see how far we are from that. And so we seek – we read and learn and experience, to see if there’s a way to capture back that beauty, to connect with our divine nature and with each other.
So, I guess that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. Writing, videos, cartoons and whatever else may come. Because yes there’s a lot of joy and beauty in this world, but there’s also a fair bit of deep unhappiness and rather than being ashamed of it, or fuelling it, or pretending it’s not there, I’d rather try to help change it.
And I wish more than anything that anyone who feels upset in their lives, PLEASE don’t feel ashamed. You’re a beautiful being. I love you. ❤