That’s hard to admit because jealousy is not a pleasant trait. But, I’m here to talk to you as a real human, not to photo-shop my personality and present a glossy, front cover image of myself. Most people experience jealousy, they just don’t often admit it.
Here’s the thing about jealousy that also makes me
uncomfortable about admitting it: it points to my own insecurities. My own low self-esteem in some areas of my life. To admit I’m jealous is to admit I don’t rate myself very highly. I feel ashamed about that, if I’m honest.
? HOW TO GET OVER IT
Although I feel shame about jealousy, I also know that it’s OK to be jealous. All emotions are OK in my book. It’s how we ACT in response to those emotions which is what causes problems. If we hurt other people or even ourselves, that’s not cool. But to feel is to be human. It’s OK to feel it. ?
You can also make some shifts in your mind-set to reduce jealousy. Here’s a simple trick when you feel jealous of someone who’s prettier, richer, smarter, fitter, funnier, more popular, successful or whatever – than you. Ask yourself this:
??Would I swap my entire life for theirs???
Broaden your perspective to look at their whole life. Including their pains – because no one’s life is perfect. Would you want to BE them? Would you give up your entire self and world, to be them, so that you can have that one thing you’re jealous of?
The reality is that what someone has is not an isolated incident or trait. It’s all based on their personality, their choices, their pains, their mind-set, their relationships, their entire life so far and the mere fate of where, when and to whom they were born.
So, if you want what they have, you have to have it all. And, give up everything YOU have and who YOU are. Do you want that?
?? NO THANKS ??
When I ask ‘would I swap my entire life for theirs?’ my life suddenly seems much more appealing! Not to say it’s better than anyone else’s, but would I want to BE someone else, just to have one element of their life? NOPE. Would I want to exchange all my amazing people and experiences and who I am, for someone else’s? Even if it meant I would get rid of my pains and traumas, I wouldn’t swap the whole lot. No way. I’ll keep mine, thanks.
⭐ YOU ARE YOU AND THAT IS YOUR POWER
I hope that by asking yourself this simple question in moments of jealousy, you recognise and appreciate how unique and wonderful your own life is and how much great stuff you have in it. And, that your own successes will come in their own time, in a way that is right for you and only you.
Just because someone else has something, it doesn’t mean you can’t have it too.