Whenever we’re going through change in our lives, positive or negative, we tend to experience difficulty. That is, resistance. Pain. Discomfort. Whether we’re starting a new exercise routine, experiencing organisational change or even experiencing loss and grief, there’s one thing that can help us get through these difficult things, no matter what they are.
But first: how not to do difficult things
Before we get to the surest way to get through difficult things, let’s cover off how not to! I don’t think the answer lies in advice like: just push on through! Be strong! Never give up! I’m not saying this is never appropriate, sometimes it is. But when you’re doing something that really feels difficult, perhaps something you didn’t choose, or a long, drawn out process of change – we need a different approach. Which is this:
To take the babiest of baby steps 👣👶
And I mean BABYYYY steps. 🤏
I’m not talking small steps. I’m talking steps SO small that you wouldn’t think about them as steps, unless you really thought about it.
For example, what are the steps to making a cup of tea? Get the mug, put the teabag in, boil the kettle and so on… Or is there more to it? Let’s break it down further:
Open the cupboard
Pick up a mug
Put it down on the counter
Pick up the kettle
Walk to the sink
Open the lid
Turn on the tap…
You get the picture?
I’m talking minutiae.
When you have to do something that fills you with resistance, when you find it overwhelming and too difficult, the surest way to get through it is by breaking it down to the babiest of steps.
Here’s an example of my friend going through loss and grief
A dear friend was understandably overwhelmed by the thought of getting through the rest of her life after a big, painful, life changing loss. Even getting through the day seemed impossible, let alone the rest of her life. It was a heavy weight, it was too difficult. 😔
I offered: “Just get through the next minute. Take it minute by minute.”
She hadn’t looked at it this way. Her mind was full of the big task, the big picture, which made it seem impossible and overwhelming. She had to get through life.
But now, she considered: just get through the next minute. That’s all.
With this approach, she got through one minute, and the next, and the next. She then found herself getting through the day, the week, the month and so on. It’s not that she wasn’t experiencing the pain and loss, but she wasn’t putting so much pressure on herself to traverse a mountain of it. Just a tiny part of it, one minute at a time, which was much more manageable.
You see, baby steps can apply to time too. Instead of thinking in years, what if you just thought about today? If the week ahead seems difficult, what if you just focused on the next 10 minutes?
This applies to everything
Want to start a blog?
Instead of: I’m going to write one blog a day and have an email list and get ranked by SEO and have the top blog in the world! Look, have the goal, please do have the goal, that’s great! But then, forget it, and do the babiest step – open the laptop. Click ‘start post’. Write one line… and continue.
At some point momentum tends to take hold and you end up doing your whole routine without thinking much about it.
But when it comes to starting – which is where the most resistance and difficulty tends to lie – we have to make that part as easy for ourselves as possible, not make it as big and overwhelming as possible!
Over to you
I challenge you to apply this technique to any area of difficulty right now – whether it’s something you want to do or something that’s happening around you that you have to deal with, write it down in an almost silly level of baby steps! At least the first 10, let’s say. Or the first small task, whatever works. And then do one at a time, you can even tick them off as you go.
Let’s say you want to start an exercise routine. Instead of saying, I need to exercise 3 times a week, or even, I need to exercise today, you might say: I’m going to put on my work out shoes. And do it. Then, I’m going to step outside. And do it. And then, I’m going to walk to the corner of the road. And do it… I’m sure you catch my drift. Repeat this process, as often as you like. And don’t think: ‘I must do it 3 times a week for the rest of my life’!
Whatever challenge you use this approach on, I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
If you’d like to share your thoughts on this piece drop me a message/ comment on any of my social platforms or use the email button below. I’d love to hear from you! ❤️
